At a Loss
by BrynnH87
Summary: Jim comes home to find Blair distraught over the death of a friend and is at a loss as to how to help him.


Title: At a Loss  
Author: Brynn

Author's Notes: Special thanks to my beta Debbie Tripp  
Words enclosed in are thoughts.  
Warning: Death of an original character.

At a Loss

By Brynn

Jim plodded into the apartment, tossing his keys into the basket by the door. It was one of the most exhausting days he had endured in a while.

"Hey, Sandburg. How about we order out tonight? I don't feel like cooking."

When he didn't get an answer, he looked up at Blair, who was sitting on the sofa. He wasn't quite crying, but he was just about as sad as Jim had ever seen him.

"Hey Chief, what's wrong?" Jim approached the couch.

Blair seemed to register him for the first time. "I just talked to her this morning, Jim...Now she's dead!"

"What? Who?" Jim was frantically hoping Blair didn't mean Naomi! Thoughts of the flaky redhead filled his mind. How would Blair cope with the loss of his mother?

"I see her every morning, Jim. How was I to know that this morning would be the last?"

Okay, Jim thought, relieved beyond belief. Not Naomi. But, Blair was clearly upset by this. A student maybe?

Blair continued to ramble. "I don't think she had a home, Jim. She lived on the street..."

Not a student then, Jim decided.

"...I brought her food whenever I could, spent a little time with her...just tried to let her know someone cared, you know man? I don't think she had anyone else. She was way too young to be so all alone!

Young? A child? More likely a teenager. Maybe a runaway? Jim speculated. It was just like Blair to befriend a street kid. He had such a big heart. Most people would walk right by, or not be trusted enough by the kid to get close enough to help. Blair had a heart that wanted to save the world, and oozed 'trust me' from every pore. "Blair, did you call the authorities? They are there to help in cases like this, you know?"

"Yeah, man, several times. She always disappeared whenever they came. They could never find her. I should have taken her in when I could have, Jim. I didn't do enough...and now she's dead!"

Jim sat down beside his guide and slung an arm around his shoulder. Jim wasn't good at this emotional stuff, but his best friend needed some comfort right now. Jim was really at a loss to know what to say, how to fix this, but he was trying. "It sounds like you did what you thought you could, Chief." Jim refrained from telling Blair that he should have told Jim about this sooner. Together, maybe they could have helped the child, but saying that right now wouldn't help Blair. "Tell me about what happened today. How do you know she's dead?"

Now there were tears in Blair's eyes as he looked up to answer. "I found her, man ... on the way home. Just outside ... down in the alley. It looked like she was hit by a car, and just left there."

"Blair, when did this happen?" Jim hadn't heard of a murdered child in the neighborhood, and wondered why he hadn't smelled the blood...maybe they were mostly internal injuries.

"It's been a couple of hours now since I found her. I don't know when she was actually hit. I spent a couple of minutes saying 'goodbye', and then called to have her body taken care of. I've asked for her ashes. She deserves to have someone remember her."

"It might take a while to get those released, Chief. I'm sure there'll be an investigation. Even if it was just accidental, the driver can't get away with killing a child and leaving the scene of the crime."

"Child?" Blair was surprised. "No, Jim. I'm talking about the little calico who hung out in the alley. I took her some tuna every chance I got. I got really attached to her, man." 

Jim was standing by now, walking away. "A cat! Sandburg, only YOU would get this worked up over a little alley cat!"

Jim reached the kitchen and pulled an apron from the drawer. Walking back to the sofa, he tossed the apron at Blair.

"I have just the thing to get your mind off it...go make dinner!"

"But, it's your turn man." Blair was honestly confused at Jim's inability to understand why he was upset.

"Yeah, and you just used up what energy I had left, worrying me to death over a common alley cat. You owe me." Jim started up the stairs to the bedroom to change clothes. "Make something quick, I'm starved."

Blair started through the motions of making dinner, getting out cooking utensils, spaghetti, a jar of sauce. "She may have been an alley cat," he muttered under his breath, "but, for a while, she was MY alley cat. I've never had a pet before, and I know what it's like to feel like you're all alone. No one should have to feel that...not even a cat."

Blair honestly forgot that the sentinel could, and probably did, still hear him. Up in the loft bedroom, Jim felt like a heel. Of course, Blair would feel a kinship to this cat. He says he always knew his mother loved him, while growing up, but she often wasn't there. Of course Blair knows what's it's like to be alone. And it's that big heart of his getting him into trouble again. 

Jim had never been a big animal lover, but he could see why Blair would be. He found it incredibly sad that Blair had never had a pet. Knowing he was probably going to regret this, he picked up the phone.

Blair was so engrossed in preparing dinner and mourning his furry friend, he didn't hear Jim's quiet voice up in the bedroom.

"SPCA?" Jim all but whispered into the phone. "I imagine you have plenty of cats up for adoption, right? ... What time do you close this evening? ... Oh, that soon? I'm not sure my roommate will even WANT a cat, but he's suffered a loss of a kitten he befriended, and I'm at a loss as to what else to do to help. I want to give him the option, at least. We'll be there in fifteen minutes."

Blair looked up from the stove as Jim bounded down the stairs from the bedroom. 

"Sandburg, forget dinner for a while." Jim called, tossing Blair's coat in his general direction. "I remembered an errand I need to run. Ride with me"

"Man, I'm right in the middle of dinner here. Can I run the errand for you later? I thought you were exhausted?"

"I'll rest later" if I ever get to rest again, with a cat around. I think I might really regret this. "The place I need to go to closes in a half an hour."

"You go, I'll finish here."

"I need you with me on this one, Blair. It involves saving a life from being all alone in the world." Jim put his hand on his friend's back and led him through the front door. "You may be the only one who can help."

End


End file.
